Drugs, alcohol and domestic violence were the norm on both sides of their family when the Holden brothers were growing up. Kyle, Kris and Kurt drifted in and out of foster care while their parents wrestled demons in a pattern of relapse and recovery.
Now that they are married with children of their own, the brothers are determined to avoid the mistakes their parents made and are focused on helping other children who come from unfortunate backgrounds.
"Coming from nothing really puts a sense of urgency on things," said Kyle Holden, 31, of Tipp City. "I want to provide for my kids and give them what I never had. Thankfully Children Services got us out in time, and that's what saved our lives."
"Montgomery County Children Services tried to change our idea of what was normal, so they could give us the best chance of being successful," said Kurt Holden, 28, of Xenia.
When he was 5, Kurt watched their biological mother try to kill herself. During one of the many scuffles with her husband, she shot herself in the stomach.
Now a police officer at Wright State University, Kurt said the traumatic experience changed his life. "The police officers were so sensitive to us boys, and later I wanted to get into law enforcement to get into a position to help others who needed that sense of normality restored," Kurt said.
Kurt now sits on the Independent Scholars Network committee at Wright State, where he works to improve the outlook for foster children in our community. He will complete his Masters in Leadership Development on May 2 at WSU, and next fall he will be an adjunct professor in the Political Science Department.
Kyle and Kris now own a lawn treatment company. They get to see each other and Kurt often -- something the brothers have always enjoyed.
"Our Montgomery County Children Services caseworkers would try to keep us together as best they could," said Kris Holden, 27, of Huber Heights. "When a spot would open in a home where one of us was staying, they would try to get another one of us into that home. And if we weren't together in a foster home, we at least had visitations together."
Eventually they all wound up in the same foster home in Tipp City. "At some point, I didn't feel sorry for myself anymore," Kris said. "I would think, 'There are so many kids who have it way worse than us.'"
The brothers started a nonprofit called Fostering Ohio, which adopts needy families for Christmas and tries to secure resources to help foster children. It's a beautiful legacy they continue from the loving care their caseworkers showed them.
"When we were kids, our caseworkers would go to our sporting events and cheer for us," Kris said. "When we got older, they would come to our weddings or attend a baby shower. They weren't paid for these things. These caseworkers truly care for the kids."
For more information on reporting suspected child abuse and neglect, click here or simply call Montgomery County Children Services at 224-KIDS (5437). Prevention tips can be found on this page.
