Posted: 8:00 a.m. Monday, Aug. 26, 2013
By Akula Wolf
We made it, man. Game week is here. Soon we will be able to talk about actual football things, which means we can soon begin insisting that Matt Canada is a terrible play-caller and Dave Doeren can't manage his timeouts for shit. The honeymoon is over, bub!
One thing we cannot debate--Dave Doeren understands the importance of potatoes when it comes to team morale. Tom O'Brien-brand potatoes? Boring cubes. Every day.
The players have shown an appreciation for Doeren's involvement, even in items that would otherwise seem trivial. Take the breakfast menu. The players were tired of the same potatoes at breakfast.
"They were these little cubes and they had no flavor," [D.J.] Green said.
So the players asked Doeren for some additions to the menu.
"Now we've got regular hash browns, baked potato, yams, all kinds," Green said.
You know the old saying, the path to gridiron glory is paved by potatoes. Chuckle, if you will, but solving the smaller problems fits Doeren's ethos.
"That's a big deal," Doeren said. "Now we have five days of five different potatoes and the guys are fired up about it."
Down with potato cubes. That's just unnatural, anyway. I can't think of a single good memory involving a potato cube.
I will say, though, this makes we wonder why TOB's teams weren't better on the road since I'm guessing they had different options those weekends. Or maybe opponents were on to the whole cube situation and conspired with the team hotel to offer nothing for breakfast on game days but cold and undercooked potato cubes. I bet it was these damned cubes that were responsible for all those injuries.
The bottom line here is you gotta keep your potato game on point. Let's get ready for some football.