Posted: 2:00 p.m. Friday, Aug. 30, 2013
By Will Campbell
Before we get started let me give you a little background on my UVa football outlook: the glass is half empty. It always has been half empty and until we have Texa$ like success, it likely will stay half-empty. So, without further ado (please perform a drum roll on your desk/table/laptop/etc.).....
It's gonna be a hot one on Saturday because it's August and the powers that be have decided it's cool to play in the hundred degree heat (just ask Sir Clowney who decided to take a few plays off after the first four plays against the @UVAFools). Girls are going to walk out of their Wertland apartments and be all like
Which is fine, because they'll put on their sundress and cowboy boots, grab their orange/blue solo cups and proceed to the STL Tailgate (hopefully for Wiley's sake at least).
All will be bright and gay in the land of Wahoo for a new football season is upon us. All 30,000 UVa fans and 15,000 Mormons will walk to Scott thinking that "THIS COULD BE OUR YEAR! Watford could become Hagans! Smoke could stay out of trouble! Mike London can call a TO when he's supposed to!"
The Hoos will take the ball on the first drive and on roughly the seventh play from scrimmage Watford will throw either a dump off or screen to Smoke who will go MIA and take it to the house. The defense will follow suit and stuff the Fightin' Jimmers and all the UVa fans will think they have a successful football team on their hands.
But unfortunately, as many of you know, we can't have nice things. Watford will have played a great game and probably lead the Hoos to a FG on the previous drive, but wouldn't ya know it, Greyson Lambert will take the field sometime in the third quarter even though Coach London told us it was a 1 QB system this year. We won't know what to say.
The wheels will then begin to fall off. Neither Watford nor Lambert won't be able to get into a groove. The defense will overcommit and Honor, Courage, and every White button down short sleeve with a black tie will score. We'll look to each other, because deep down inside, we all knew it was going to happen.
In the end, the boys will have played well, but will come up just short losing 35-27. UVa fans will walk out of Scott thinking that there is a bright future in Hooville, but will then realize who is coming to town next weekend, and, well, crap.