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Published: Tuesday, January 09, 2018 @ 10:58 AM
— Since you spend so much time at work, of course you want to have friends there! But whether you're enjoying the nonphysical, non-romantic friendship of a "work spouse" or have numerous buddies at the office, some friendships do more harm than good.
According to workplace and psychology experts, these are six signs you might need to end a workplace friendship:
Your friend needs you... all the time. "Women tend to rely on their friends more heavily for emotional sustenance," Irene S. Levine, psychologist and author of Best Friends Forever, told Real Simple. "But if someone is constantly depending on you, that's when it's toxic." An overly-needy buddy will exhaust you and take up precious workplace time, with demands that range from acting as her consultant on every decision to requesting financial help.
You're on a rollercoaster. Similar to off-hours friendships, a workplace friendship that goes up and down and around might need to come to an end, according to Levine. "The unpredictability takes a toll on you," she said. "It can make you anxious, nervous, or depressed when you don't know what to expect from a friend whom you're supposed to rely on."
Your "work spouse" is showing signs of too much attachment. If your go-to work partner is now closing the door each time you meet, scheduling lots of after-hours activities that don't really have much to do with work or spending every hour in your cubicle, you may want to pull back a bit, according to Monster.com. Even if you don't have a spouse waiting at home, you want co-workers to know that your workplace relationship is on the up and up. Aside from stopping the rumor mill, you also want to let other colleagues know they are appreciated and equal.
A work friend wants you to do their chores. A friend who's taking advantage of you should cease being a friend, starting tomorrow. You can assume you really are charming and co-workers like spending time with you, but only up to a point, according to U.S. News. If a recent friend, or even a long-time pal, starts asking you to take on some of their work, it's time to question the validity of your connection. "More devious types may simply be the equivalent of that kid who, during group projects, unloaded all the work on you and walked away with an 'A' on the project," U.S. News noted. "You're mature now, so don't let that happen ... again."
Colleagues essentially consider you the same person. If you're so close to a co-worker that people literally cannot distinguish you, your friendship is depriving you of a chance to shine as an individual and take on new challenges, said psychologist Andrea Bonior in Psychology Today. You'll also suffer from any negative parts of your friend's reputation or job performance. "Don't let your bosom-buddyhood keep you from being seen as your own person," Bonior said.
It would be too drastic to end such a friendship, but you should definitely seek other buddies at work, ask to be put on separate projects occasionally and ask others for input when you can, not always your work twin.
Your supposed friend betrays you. A friend who betrays a bond doesn't get a pass just because it happened at work, according to Levine. Don't ignore that gut feeling telling you it's a big deal. Any betrayal is a sign to reevaluate the relationship.
Published: Friday, February 23, 2018 @ 10:20 AM
— Even with nearly every cultural taboo thrown to the wind− from discussing sexual orientation to politics; one last conversational taboo still exist among Americans − how much we get paid.
"These days, it's okay to talk about the troubles we're having with our children or even our marriages," noted one blogger from PayScale. "We can talk about race, religion, identity, etc., outside of work. But, do we talk with each other about our salaries? Oh goodness, absolutely not. That's way too personal, and it's a conversation fraught with danger."
But what if this is a mistake? Salary transparency at work can be beneficial right on down the line. First, it could ultimately help right the gender pay gap. (Think about what might have happened if Michelle Williams had learned in conversation early on that she was getting literally millions less than Mark Walhberg for the reshoot of “All the Money in the World”, for example.)
"Pay transparency helps workers understand their earnings in relation to the salaries of their peers," PayScale noted. "Openly sharing our financial truth with one another, both inside and outside of the office, is one of the best weapons we have against it."
Openly talking about earnings can also support job satisfaction and employee retention. PayScale studies have shown that people most often leave their jobs over pay issues, for example. But 55 percent of the respondents who thought they were being underpaid actually weren't, a factor that would be eliminated if people talked readily about their earnings.
In a 2015 Huffington Post article , the answer to "Should you talk about what you earn" was a loud, yes.
"If you want to make sure you're being paid fairly, go ahead and talk to your co-workers about how much you make. Seriously," HuffPost said.
The article cites the now landmark case of Erica Baker, a former Google engineer, who posted a shared spreadsheet asking co-workers to reveal their salaries. About 5 percent of her co-workers responded, Baker noted in a Tweet.
"People asked for and got equitable pay," she tweeted, "based on the data in the sheet."
But the "go ahead, it's all good" mentality is by no means widespread even three years later. In an early 2018 LinkedIn viewpoint roundup, based on an anonymous spreadsheet of entertainment employee salaries being shared widely that week, biotechnology executive Barrett S. McGrath gave a top-rated answer to the question, "Should you tell your co-workers what you earn?"
His final answer: "No, no, hell no. Never discuss comp with coworkers."
McGrath based his answer on advice from his first district manager.
"He told me, 'There is absolutely nothing good that can come from discussing salary and compensation with a co-worker, ever. At best, everyone feels fine because comp about the same. Inevitably, one of the two parties will be compensated less. A person who, just prior to the conversation, felt perfectly fine about their job and comp, now does not."
No matter whether you side with McGrath or Payscale, it's a tricky wicket.
Make sure you're allowed to. Supervisors aren't protected under federal law, according to the Huffpost piece, and neither are government employees, though typically their pay levels are publicly available.
Be discreet. Pay is still a pretty touchy subject, Huffpost noted, adding, "Don't corner your colleague in the bathroom and demand to see his pay stub."
Choose your words. HP advised something like, "Hey, I want to make sure I'm being paid fairly. Would you mind telling me how much you make?" Also assure your colleague you'll keep his name out of any salary negotiations you initiate.
Consider talking outside the office. Talk over a cocktail or coffee.
Published: Tuesday, February 13, 2018 @ 7:26 AM
— Remember when the presidential election was over and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, thinking we could all go back to talking about sports and kids, not politics?
Of course, that's not what happened at all: Contentious political conversations abound everywhere, from Facebook to daycare to the corner bar.
But when they spring up in the workplace, awkward can become inappropriate.
"No good comes from it," Alec Beck, a labor and employment attorney at Ford Harrison in Minneapolis, told Inc. "All it does is make people mad."
But staying away from political talks in the workplace is about as easy as keeping it secret that someone put out doughnuts in the break room.
(Note: If you are the one who thinks you have every right to speak politics in the workplace, hold it right there. Not only are Freedom of Speech rights not protected in the workplace, you may also inadvertently be veering into issues of race, gender, age or religion, which are protected by the federal Civil Rights Act's Title VII. )
Still, trying to steer away from political conversations is a win-win strategy, according to Gregg Ward, author of "The Respectful Leader: Seven Ways To Influence Without Intimidation," told Inc.
Buy time. When co-workers are hanging out and someone asks you if you saw the latest news or something an elected official said about a particular issue, "play dumb," Ward advised. "Someone with a strong opinion will go into teaching mode instead of venting emotionally. This gives you time to listen and respond appropriately."
Look for common ground. To give the impression that you're still involved in the conversation, respond in a way that's completely true but still impartial. Ward recommended saying, "I think we can all agree that's a very controversial (or loaded or difficult or challenging) topic."
Be authentic, not transparent. It's hard to work with someone everyday and not mention [recent political developments], Liane Davey, co-founder of 3COze Inc. told Harvard Business Review. But you don't need to get drawn in just because the topic comes up.
"Being authentic doesn't equal transparent," she said. "Don't be a Clinton supporter in the women's washroom and a Trump supporter with your boss, but you also don't need to be fully candid about everything you think and feel."
Artfully shift the conversation toward a neutral subject, Davey suggested, or focus on related topics that aren't candidate specific, like the lack of nonpartisan media coverage. "Speak about the process, not the candidate," she said.
Employ a bit of humor. You may be able to avoid a lengthy political discussion by poking a little fun at the instigator, according to Ward. "If they're a halfway decent person you can look at them with a big smile and say, 'Tell us what you really think' and they'll realize they've gone over the top," he said.
Disengage. If you find that you can't keep your cool, take responsibility for being frustrated and angry, and exit the conversation, HBR recommended. But if a colleague's incessant political talk is both "grating and distracting," speak directly to your colleague in simple straightforward terms that indicate you don't want to talk and you're getting back to work now.
Ward added that none of these tactics will work with a sociopath. "If somebody's a true sociopath what I generally say is, 'You'll have to excuse me -- I have to use the restroom,' and I will literally walk away," he said. "I'm not going to win with that person. They are going to cause an explosion."
So if we're not talking politics, what will we say instead?
Published: Tuesday, February 13, 2018 @ 5:18 PM
— Kudos! You've moved up the corporate ladder and are on top of your career. That's right: You're now the boss.
However, managing a department, division or corporation doesn't mean it's time to lean back in your office chair and prop up your feet. Yet, this type of lax approach to leadership is often seen in executive positions across various industries and unfortunately ends in employee turnover.
The bigger the title, the bigger the managerial responsibility of ensuring you and your professional posse are meeting company goals and expectations, correct? Not necessarily so. Some bosses are actually better at abusing this crucial role than excelling in it.
Emmanuel Little, director of Georgia’s first and only Call Me MiSTER program designed to train students of diverse backgrounds to become talented teachers, warns about the following pitfalls of making bad boss moves and how to prevent them.
So new business owners, principals, presidents or directors should avoid these common administrative blunders if the aim is to build a loyal, successful team for years ahead:
Not leading by example. If you expect workers to put in overtime and interrupt their personal lives to meet project deadlines, show them you're in it to win it with them. Employees appreciate and respect bosses who show up early and leave late along with them, which sets a tone of togetherness. “It’s about practicing what you preach,” said Little, who launched the high school to higher education mentoring program four years ago at Georgia College in Milledgeville. “The biggest way to do that is to model what you want your team to produce, and they will respect you for that. Showing your team instead of always telling them goes a long way.”
Not giving credit where credit is due. If an employee is alleviating responsibilities from your plate and doing a darn good job at it, don't steal their contribution thunder by not acknowledging their efforts to make you look good. Make sure you genuinely express gratitude for their dedication to the task at hand, and if higher-ups brag about the results as well, don't hesitate to recognize the one who covered your back. “It’s important to have different ways of recognizing the ones who are producing exceptional work,” Little said. “Lack of recognition could potentially create negative effects in morale and productivity. You want to make sure your team knows that you care, so figure out how you can uplift and celebrate them when they’ve gone above the call of duty.”
Not compensating hard workers. Employees who constantly produce undeniable results that bring award-winning company recognition, new business and significant solutions to business problems should know they're valued. Promotions, bonuses and raises show these hard workers their talent and time spent on projects is appreciated and deserves compensation that matches their skill set. “Most of the time decision makers have power over resources, so if you’re that person in your division or office, really consider opportunities to compensate your hardest workers,” said Little, “and that doesn’t always mean money in the pocket. Maybe its paying for them to attend a national conference for professional development, self-care days, gift cards or office birthday parties. They need to know they’re seen as assets, not just workers.”
Not considering diverse discourse. Blocking out team members' options, ideas or views to improve office workflow can potentially decrease productivity and morale. Employees may feel as though they don't have a voice or serve as a true stakeholder within the brand. Ignoring simple suggestions from workers that could benefit daily operations or demanding assignments could lead to top performers leaving for better work environments — or worse — a similar position with the company's competition. “Bosses have to be very intentional with placing diverse team members into positions where each one of their voices can be heard,” he said.
“Encouraging them to participate on boards and committees across the company brings intersections of identity to the table and helps account for blind spots in the organization. Greater diversity and inclusion leads to greater success and efficiency.”
Not offering advancement opportunities. The more your team members know, the more they can successfully execute roles and responsibilities. Hindering or failing to make employees aware of career advancement conferences or events that will give them elevation edge only stifles their creativity and ability to become influential change agents within the company. Showing your constant support to their growth motivates them to continue to perform well, according to Entrepreneur.com.
“Bosses also have to be proactive with putting their team into positions that will challenge and improve their skills,” Little said. “Opening up opportunities for them to grow only strengthens their talent level and elevates the organizaton by keeping everyone on the path of producing the best results possible. So identify your team’s abilities, cultivate those abilities and watch how the team excels together.”
Not holding oneself, unproductive employees accountable. Slackers always rub diligent workers the wrong way, according to a piece on how to be an effective team by Fast Company. When the boss and colleagues habitually communicate that meeting deadlines and achieving goals is not a big deal, it only says to those who take their position seriously that the organization is counterproductive to career and company growth. “Bosses need to outline and articulate clear expectations,” said Little. “If you can’t hold yourself accountable, how can you expect any type of accountability from your team? So set straightforward expectations for everyone and eliminate gray areas. That’s why assessments like annual employee evaluations are critical to track the team’s progress.”
Not operating with a humble heart. Employees lose interest in know-it-all bosses quickly. Let's face it: Information and the way companies do business changes every day. Some bosses welcome novel strategies to reach brand objectives; others deflect it and would rather stick with what they know — even if it's not working. From the newest employees to veterans, it doesn't hurt to pick their business brains to learn modern or unconventional approaches to increase output and improve the company culture. “Bosses have to remember: It’s not about you,” Little said. “The mission of the organization is bigger than you. The best leaders want to create teams that help sustain organizations and initiatives long after they’re gone. You want to stay connected to the mission/vision of the business, advancing it and not your ego. So if the team has solutions to make the organization better, listen to them.”
Published: Wednesday, February 07, 2018 @ 11:41 AM
— Are you one of those anal-retentive employees? It's OK. Be honest with your professional self.
Maybe you constantly bug co-workers about due dates as if they didn't already know or are a super stickler for how team members use company supplies. And that's not always a bad thing, right?
The crisis communicator. This personality always freaks out about office events like deadlines, new hires, resignations or company shifts. This person doesn't like assignment surprises or getting out of his comfort zone.
If you're this type of worker: Whenever real emergency situations arise, you're the perfect person to panic for the entire team. The other good thing is that employers will always know how you genuinely feel — instantly gaining your gut reaction to tackle and execute the tasks at hand.
In a Psychology Today article, emotions expert and author Alice Boyes shared that these worry wart ways are at times advantageous because anxious workers usually have Plan B and C prepared.
The polite pushover. This personality is never combative and will work no matter the chaotic office conditions.
If you're this type of worker: Employers can trust that you will consider everyone's feelings, backgrounds and rationales. You’re always respectful of others, which often leads to transformative benefits for the entire team.
The negative Nancy. This personality finds loom and doom in every move the company makes or when collaborating with certain co-workers on team assignments.
If you're this type of worker: At least your boss and/or colleagues know what you're thinking. And bluntly bringing awareness to company cons can help improve morale and productivity. And when projects don’t turn out as expected, you’re less likely to become upset, according to social psychologist Kate Sweeny, who was cited in a Society for Personality and Social Psychology article.
The office overachiever. This personality will go above and beyond the call of duty time again and typically doesn't take "can't" attitudes lightly.
If you're this type of worker: Employers can definitely count on you to pick up the slack of procrastinators and keep senior leadership in the know about inefficient, time-wasting workers not worthy of their positions.
Tim Eisenhauer, co-founder of Axero Solutions and the first company intranet software, Communifire, told Inc. Magazine that these are usually your “big idea” folks who push production to new heights.
The manic micromanager. This personality nags and helicopter parents the daily activities of people and projects within their direct supervision.
If you're this type of worker: Yes, this overbearing demeanor is irritating, but employers appreciate your unwavering devotion to meeting goals, conserving resources and paying attention to operational details.